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i am Zhenzhong小弟

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Location: AMK, Singapore, Singapore

A born-sinner who has been saved by Jesus Christ and a new creation by God... A super Melancholy guy in nature but being constantly transformed by Him! Shy guy but a loyal friend...


game
minesweeper



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midi
爱是不保留


my composed music

Latest piece!!

MIDI 6 MIDI 5 MIDI 4 MIDI 3 MIDI 1


previous posts
past few entries

是逞強或堅強...
属灵生日快乐~
For Good (from Wicked musical)
感触...
Corrinne May - Everything in Its Time
慌...
Something Inspiring with what Blender can do...
One of my Blender Modeling Learning progress...
Random post...
Introducing the new upcoming local singer group "插...

archives
instant time travel

April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
October 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
October 2008
November 2008
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
June 2009
November 2009
December 2009
February 2010
June 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
November 2011

links
friends' blogs

  • Calyn
  • Dawn
  • Derek
  • Ellson
  • Eunice Yap
  • Guanrui
  • H.I.M
  • Huanyan
  • Jadyn my niece
  • Jasmine Poon
  • Jesline
  • Jesse
  • Jiehui
  • Jiexian
  • Jitsy
  • Joyce
  • Katarina
  • Kimchun
  • Marcus
  • Michelle Tham
  • NUSB1
  • NUSC1
  • Pastor Jeff
  • Puay Lin
  • Robert
  • Ruey Feng
  • SIM group
  • Sher Li
  • Shuyi
  • Tiyo
  • Uni-YA blog
  • Weizhu
  • Xinying
  • Yeuann
  • Yizhong
  • Zhichun
  • Zhixin


  • credits.
    thankyouverymuch

    Designed by: shui min
    Base codes: flore scent
    Images: 01 02 03

    Saturday, January 20, 2007
    11:38 PM

    Entering the book of Exodus...

    This month seems to be really quite an exciting month so far...

    A NEW year...
    A NEW semester...
    A NEW series of interesting modules...
    A NEW determination to grow...
    A NEW list of things I wish to try...
    A NEW groups of project mates to work with..
    A NEW care group soon...
    A NEW book in the bible I going to learn from...

    And it's really interesting when i discovered what the book of Exodus is going to talk about...

    Quoting from Life Application Bible:
    GET UP... leave... take off - these words sound good to those trapped or enslaved. Some resist their matching orders, however, preferring present surroundings to a new, unknown environment. It's not easy to trade the comfortable security of the known for an uncertain future. But what if God gives the order to move? Will we follow his lead? Exodus describes a series of God's calls and the responses of his people.
    It's so amazing to realise how relevant this book is to my current situation. Yes, I am also going to face quite a no. of changes in my life... I will say for a person like me, usually I will definitely prefer to remain in my own comfort zone, whereby I am already comfortable with the things around me, which include sticking with my own close friends, doing things that I am familiar with, not wanting to try new things, etc...

    But as I started reading the book of Exodus, I began to understand slowly how I should get up and leave too... Especially when you began to realise that God is actually causing these changes for your own good... Just like how God brought the Israelites out from Egypt to the desert and eventually leading them to their promised land Canaan...

    Yes, definitely there will be fear in facing the uncertain future, but once we have the security in God that He is always with us and He will provide us with our every needs, we can overcome any struggles/difficulties along the way. The important thing is to obey and follow...

    I really pray that I will learn to trust God more as I am getting myself out of my comfort zone...
    "But Moses said to God,"Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"" [Exodus 3:11]
    Moses made excuses because he felt inadequate for the job God asked him to do. It was natural for him to feel that way. He was inadequate all by himself. But God wasn't asking Moses to work alone. He offered other resources to help (God himself, Aaron, and the ability to do miracles). God often calls us to tasks that seem too difficult, but he doesn't ask us to go them alone. God offers us his resources, just as he did to Moses. We should not hide behind our inadequacies, as Moses did, but look beyond ourselves to the great resources available. Then we can allow God to use our unique contributions.
    A lot of times, we often tend to do things based on our own strengths. That's also why at times when we failed, we got discouraged and started to question whether God is really there to help us... The key thing is to depend on God's strength instead of ours... God uses imperfect people like us to do His work, and it's always an honour to be used by God...
    "But Moses said,"O Lord, please send someone else to do it."" [Exodus 4:13]
    Moses pleaded with God to let him out of his mission. After all, he was not a good speaker and would probably embarass both himself and God. But God looked at Mose's problem quite differently. All Moses needed was some help, and who better than God could help him say and do the right things. God made his mouth and would give him the words to say. It is easy for us to focus on our weaknesses, but if God asks us to do something, then he will help us get the job done. If the job involves some of our weak areas, then we can trust that he will provide words, strength, courage, and ability where needed.
    I really need to remind myself about this. As a typical Melancholy, (which also means a perfectionist!) I am very easily dwelled in my own weaknesses... But that's also something I wish to change as I really hope that God can use me and all the talents He has given me to serve & extend His Kingdom...

    Thank God for His guidance...

    (Oh, friends who don't know about the bible, Exodus is the book which talks about Moses, perhaps the disney movie "The Prince of Egypt" and the parting of the Red Sea will ring a bell? =p )



    Friday, January 19, 2007
    11:30 PM

    Posting delayed...

    Initially planned to post some of my thoughts tonite, but after the basketball session today, I wasn't feeling well, having headache since I reached home... Think I need to rest and recover... Got to delay more formal posting to another day... I hope this won't drag...


    Sunday, January 14, 2007
    11:44 PM

    Be ready...

    "So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.
    Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I had a dream, and no one can interpret it. But I have heard it said of you that when you hear a dream you can interpret it."
    "I cannot do it," Joseph replied to Pharaoh, "but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires."" -[Genesis 41:14-16]
    Quoting from Life Application bible:
    Our most important opportunities may come when we least expect them. Joseph was brought hastily from the dungeon and pushed before Pharaoh. Did he have time to prepare? Yes and no. He had no warning that he would be suddenly pulled from prison and questioned by the king. Yet Joseph was ready for almost any thing because of his right relationship with God. It was not Joseph's knowledge of dreams that helped him interpret their meaning. It was his knowledge of God. Be ready for opportunities by staying close to God. Then, when he calls you to a task, you'll be ready.
    Joseph made sure that he gave the credit to God. We should be careful to do the same. To take the honor for ourselves is a form of stealing God's honor. Don't be silent when you know you should be giving glory and credit to God.
    Thank God for His faithfulness, even at times when we are not faithful to Him... Recently being troubled by some negative thoughts, trapped in my super-Mel nature again... But was reminded by my shepherd that "Our joy shouldn't be depend on what well we are doing, but rather just based on knowing God, knowing His presence & loving nature..." I guess I lack security... He also said that I am currently still the 'same super-Mel Zhenzhong but with Christian values', and what I ought to become is 'a Christ follower who just happen to be Mel in personality'.

    I want to be right with God also... I want to be ready...


    Wednesday, January 10, 2007
    11:43 PM

    "In God's timing, not your timing..."

    "Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you gave me I will give you a tenth."" [Genesis 28:20-22]
    Quoting from Life Application bible,
    Was Jacob trying to bargain with God? It is possible that he, in his ignorance of how to worship and serve God, treated God like a servant who whould perform a service for a tip. More likely, Jacob was not bargaining, but pledging his future to God. He may have been saying, in effect, "Because you have blessed me, I will follow you." Whether Jacob was bargaining or pledging, God blessed him. But God also had some difficult lessons for Jacob to learn.

    Alot of time, I myself sometimes did treat God similarly... In the past, whenever I desire to do something I like which may not be really good for me(like playing games, watching tv, etc.), I would set conditions to make myself earning the right to do those things. For example, if I am playing minesweeper at my PC, I will say to myself, "If I can break my current highscore, then I deserve a relaxation of playing the PS2!"

    Then, after I came to know God, I somehow continue this bad habit. Now, a possible case will be, if I made a prayer to God, I will say to God, "God, if you answer this prayer, then I will serve you more." This is obviously wrong. However, I did commit this mistake sometimes... I am also like 'bargaining' to God, even though God always listen to our prayers and will answer them in His timing if what we ask for is according to His will.

    A very good example will be my module bidding incident. As I was bidding for my 6th module Science of Music on Mon, I was asking God to help me secure this module, cos it's a popular module and there weren't much vacancy left. Then when the round on Mon was closed and I didn't manage to get the module, I was quite disappointed on the inside, but I told myself, even if I didn't get the module in the end, I will still attend the lecture and tutorials for the rest of the sem. Also, I even e-mail the lecturer asking him for the permission to 'sit' in his lectures and tutorials. In my heart, I felt it's quite impossible for me to get the module... I almost gave up. But God is good, this morning when the 2nd round of bidding was open, I was amazed to discover that more vacancies are available! Thus, I tried bidding for it again. And guess what? I got the module in the end! Praise God!

    I was suddenly being reminded of the story of Abraham's wife Sarai, when she had trouble believing God's promise of having a child and decided to took matters into her own hands by giving Hagar, her maidservant to Abraham.

    "so she said to Abram, "The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her."" [Genesis 16:2]
    I realised that I am also acting like Sarai, taking matters into my own hands.Quoting from Life Application bible,
    Sometimes we too must simply wait. When we ask God for something and have to wait, we can be tempted to take matters into our own hands and interfere with God's plans.

    That's why we must always remember, it's always God's timing, not your timing!


    Sunday, January 07, 2007
    11:22 PM

    Bye Holidays...

    Last Day before semester start...

    收拾好心情, 准备再冲刺!
    "Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."
    "Look, I am about to die." Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"" [Genesis 25:31-32]
    Quoting from Life Application bible:
    Esau traded the lasting benefits of his birthright for the immediate pleasure of food. He acted on impulse, satisfying his immediate desires without pausing to consider the long-range consequences of what he was about to do. We can fall into the same trap. When we see something we want, our first impulse is to get it. At first we feel intensely satisfied and sometimes even powerful because we have obtained what we set out to get. But immediate pleasure often loses sight of the future. We can avoid making Esau's mistake by comparing the short-term satisfaction with its long-range consequences before we act.
    Esau exaggerated his hunger, "I am about to die," he said. This thought made his choice much easier because if he was starving, what good was an inheritance anyway? The pleasure of the moment distorted his perspective and made his decision seem urgent. We often experience similar pressures. For example, when we feel sexual pressure, a marriage vow may seem unimportant. We might feel such great pressure in one area that nothing else seems to matter and we lose our perspective. Getting through the short, pressure-filled moment is often the most difficult part of overcoming a temptation.
    I pray that as the sem start, I will not lose focus of my long term goals and act on impulse for short-term pleasure...
    "And the Lord will make you the head and not the tail; you shall be above only, and not be beneath..." [Deuteronomy 28:13a]


    Saturday, January 06, 2007
    11:45 PM

    It's MACHO Turbo time again...

    Yesterday, some of the NUS brothers had a wonderful time together at Flince's house, with the great presence of Alan Tea, a brother who used to be the leader of the Uni District. We had a informal dialogue session with Alan, asking him to share regarding his life experiences over the years back in the uni days... It was indeed a good learning opportunity for many of us. Personally, I benefited from it very much. And I just thank God for Alan's life, that many are able to look up to him and learn what it really means by 'discovering God's purpose in your life'...

    After the end of the dialogue session, some of us decided to stay over at Flince's house and had longer time of fellowship... Initially, we were just playing guitars, singing praise & worship, as well as playing card games like bridge, bluff & 'happy family'... Haha... People around are Flince, Yeuann, Jan, Sweeleong, Bowen, Guanrui & myself...

    During supper time, we had fun talking about our different army life experiences... (guys... haha) Things like our worst 'tekan' sessions, funny incidents, etc.. Man, I think army life is definitely a topic we will never get tired to chatting... Lol...

    For the rest of the 'nite', we stayed in the house sharing to one another about our personal views regarding the growth of the NUS brothers & how we hope to pass on the Uni vision to the younger generation... We almost didn't sleep much, though tired physically, but everyone is eager to start a deeper connection btw ourselves. I thank God for giving me the courage to share openly to the rest of them abt my true feelings and thoughts. It was a breakthrough for me personally. And I believed this will be the 1st step for building stronger bonds with the brothers in future.
    "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." [Proverbs 27:17]
    Quoting from 'Every young's man, God's man':

    "You're a better man when you're connected and accountable. So the question now is, are you?"
    "An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy" [Proverbs 27:5-6]

    "Pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." [2 Timothy 2:22]

    "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." [James 5:16]
    I pray for greater breakthroughs in the relationships with the NUS brothers & sisters, as we continue & 'run the race' together... =)
    "If God is for us, who can be against us?" [Romans 8:31b]
    Amen!


    Thursday, January 04, 2007
    11:58 AM

    A day of lesson learnt...

    A day with feelings of uneasiness...

    A moment of disappointment to others...

    An area of my life which need changes being revealed...

    A time when 'Sorry' doesn't seems to solve the problem...

    A serious lesson learnt...


    "And he said, "Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?"
    "I'm running away from my mistress Sarai," she answered." [Genesis 16:8]
    Quoting from Life Application bible:

    Hagar was running away from her mistress and her problem. The angel of the Lord gave her this advice: (1) to return and face Sarai, the cause of her problem, and (2) to submit to her. Hagar needed to work on her attitude toward Sarai, no matter how justified it may have been. Running away from problems rarely solves them. It is wise to return to our problems, face them squarely, accept God's promise to help, correct our attitudes, and act as we should.
    I shall not run away this time... Thank God for your guidance...

    所谓: "知错能改, 善莫大焉"...

    A passage i found in the net:

    人的一生,有些痛苦是一定要尝受的,有些代价是一定要付出的,请你们记住,只偶犯一次,不犯第二次,也希望经历些许的错失,藉以成长自己。

    虽有错失,不要自怨自艾,也不必消极地追悔,不如积极地建设自己的心灵来改变自己,从新弥补缺失改过自新。


    Still wanna say, "I am so sorry..."


    Wednesday, January 03, 2007
    11:57 PM

    Exactly one month le...

    Yes, today is 3rd Jan 2007, exactly one month after the full marathon race... Throughout this one month, busy with the xmas production, as well as the rainy season, ended up never went for a run. So today, thanks to tingqiang, we decided to go for a short jog at bishan park...

    Indeed, can feel the difference when started running for awhile, somehow the body has gone back to the un-trained form, began to pant and tired after 30min of casual run... Haha... But it's another good start of the year. Going to slowly train up again in future... yeah!


    Today's bible learning point:

    "Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth."" [Genesis 11:4]
    Quoting from Life Application bible:


    The tower of Babel was a great human achievement, a wonder of the world. But it was a monument to the people themselves rather than to God. We may build monuments to ourselves (expensive clothes, big house, fancy car, important job) to call attention to our achievements. These may not be wrong in themselves, but when we use them to give us identity and self-worth, they take God's place in our lives. We are free to develop in many areas, but we are not free to think we have replaced God.
    What "towers" have you built in your life?


    Tuesday, January 02, 2007
    11:49 PM

    Happy 2007!

    Yup, 2006 have just left us and 2007 just arrived... 1st post of the year... Nothing much to say actually, just felt like recording some of my wishes/goals to look forward in this year...

    I hope to be more focus with my studies in the coming 2nd semester. There is a high chance I'll be taking 6 modules for the 1st time, and 4 of them being New Media (NM) modules, which are arts modules, I really pray that God will provide me with the clear mind to understand and the consistency with my work...

    I hope to pick up new skills too. Haven decided on specific ones, but the few choice I thought of are:
    - driving
    - learning new musical instruments like drum (or improving existing ones like keyboard/guitar)
    - IT skills, maybe in the area of video-editing, programming, etc.
    - take up proper singing course? (or join church choir?)
    - learn new language? (continue my self-learn japanese)
    - baby-sitting skills (practising with my niece...)
    - drama skill (to participate in church drama during ESS)

    Well, one thing i really wanna thank God for the past one year in 2006 is my physical health. One of my breakthrough pledge prayer points back in Jan 2006 was actually for physical health protection. For people who knew me before, they will notice that I am not really physically healthy usually. I tend to fall sick easily and the recovery period usually took very long. Hence, it costed quite some inconvenience both in my studies as well as my ability to do things properly. And amazingly, throughout the past one year, I would say God has really blessed me with a good health. And I also are more conscious with my diet as well as the motivation to jog regularly (training for marathon). I can feel that my health is really well all these while. Thus, this coming year I will keep up with the healthy lifestyle!

    The other main thing I hope to see changes this year will be my own spiritual growth. Compared to my physical health, I would say my spiritual condition from the past one year has been quite a roller-coaster ride. Many of times, I found myself trapped in the deepest valleys... And after much reflections and discussions with people, I realised that the root issue is back to the fundamental. "Am I maintaining an intimate close relationship with God on a daily basis?". It seems like I have cared too much about what I did on the outside, but never did grow in the inside. So, I really pray that from the start of this year onwards, I can perserve and strengthen my own prayer life with God.

    I took up the advice from Jasmine, who suggested to us during last service to start a "Complete-the-bible-in-a-year" plan in 2007. And guess what? Yesterday while I was taking out my new 2007 christian calendar out and placed it on my studying table, I realised that that calendar actually has a 1-year bible reading guide, where it has written how much we can read each day in order to complete the bible once at the end of year. Thank God! That really helped me in taking the 1st step in starting the plan. It was a good start. Although today is just the 2nd day, but I prayed that I will slowly able to cultivate this good habit until it became a real natural desire for me to discover deep 'treasures' & 'wisdom' from it. I guess one way to make sure I will continue to do that perhaps is also to blog an entry every day and record down something I have learnt each day. (or at least a frequent basis...)

    As I have a Life Application study bible, I will be quoting a bit from it to help me understand the some of the verses... =)

    "And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." [Genesis 2:16-17]

    Quoting from the Life Application bible:
    "Rather than physically preventing him from eating, God gave Adam a choice, and thus the possibility of choosing wrongly. God still gives us choices, and we, too, often choose wrongly. These wrong choices may cause us pain, but they can help us learn and grow and make better choices in the future. Living with the consequences of our choices teaches us to think and choose more carefully."
    Why would God place a tree in the garden and then forbid Adam to eat from it?
    "God wanted Adam to obey, but God gave Adam the freedom to choose. Without choice, Adam would have been like a prisoner, and his obedience would have been hollow. The two trees provided an exercise in choice, with rewards for choosing to obey and sad consequences for choosing to disobey. When you are faced with the choice, always choose to obey God."
    That is something which struck me when I read today. I used to ponder about the reason why God allow us to face with trials & temptations and fail at times. Indeed, it would have been much worse if God don't give us the freedom to choose. Thank God for helping me to understand this in a deeper manner. =)